Do you and your love see organizing the same way?
In honor Valentine’s Day, I’m addressing love and organizing in two episodes with my good friend, minimalism and simplicity coach Rose Lounsbury. For part 1 of our discussion, Rose and I are talking about organizing and decluttering when you and your partner see clutter differently. We hear how Rose and her husband reacted when she started her minimalism “hobby”, how to approach a conversation about organizing with your loved one, and how to deal if one of you is an “outie” and one of you is an “innie”.
Rose is a minimalism & simplicity coach, Amazon bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and still-sane mom of triplets. (Yes, you read that right!) She helps overwhelmed people create open spaces in their homes and minds by letting go of the excess stuff that gets in the way. Rose started her own minimalist journey in 2012 after getting fed up with spending all her free time dealing with stuff. As I slowly let go of everything that didn’t matter to me, she discovered some amazing things: free time, peace of mind, & clarity.
ROSE’S TIPS FOR ORGANIZING FOR COUPLES
Chances are, you and your spouse will not see clutter eye to eye. That does not mean you can’t have an organized home despite that. If you are the one in the relationship who would like a more organized space, start by expressing your why instead of the what.
Don’t tell your partner what you’d like to do like “I want to park my car in the garage” or “I want to see everything we have in the basement on shelves.” Start with WHY it is important to you. Because clutter causes you anxiety. Because it is keeping you from sleeping. Because it makes you feel stressed when you come in the door. Figure out why you would like a clutter-free space then have a calm and non-judgemental conversation with your spouse or partner about why it is important for you. Don’t make it about them or their stuff, make it about you and why you need this for your happiness.
Once you’ve expressed your why to your partner in a respectful conversation, start developing your systems. Remember, you are going to need a bit of compromise. Like we suggested to Renee in the episode, find a way that you can please both parties.
If you are an “innie” and need to see everything but your partner is an “outtie”, try using labels to indicate where items are put away. Or maybe use the vertical space for a container so the items are somewhat visible but the horizontal space is clear. You can also create a space for the outtie person can live their best outtie life and other spaces where the innie can maintain their sense of order.
If you feel nagged about organizing in your home, try having a respectful conversation about your partner’s top stressors. Figure out 1 or 2 ways you can create solutions together that meet your partner’s need for order. And also ask for a contained space to spread your stuff.
Remember, if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out these solutions out there on your own, seek out the help of a professional organizer. They can really help you come up with solutions that will make both people happy.
STRAWBERRY MINT GIN FIZZ
Inspired by Cook Republic
- 1 oz gin
- juice of 1 small lime
- 1/2 cup (125ml) chilled sparkling water
- 3 large strawberries, sliced
- mint sprigs
- 6 ice cubes
Muddle 3 sliced strawberries, mint leaves, and the juice of one lime in the bottom of a glass. Add 1 oz of gin and ice to fill. Top glass off with chilled sparkling water and garnish with mint sprigs.
New episodes of “Cocktails and Containers” are available every week.
You can find past episodes “Cocktails and Containers” here.